This last month has been crazy and I am going to throw this out there even though it's very hard for me to talk about.
I have been to the doctor and have been prescribed medicine which i am choosing not to take. I am seeing a therapist though and it seems to be helping things. My attitude for the past year just hasn't been where it should be. My fuse has been extremely short. Apparently, this is in part postpartum depression. There are some other issues that are tied in with it, but the postpartum depression has seemed to amplify what was already going on. Something had to give, and hopefully this path that I am taking will make me myself again. I don't like the person that I have become. It has only been a few weeks, but I can already tell that there is at least a small difference. I still have a very short fuse and my attitude is not anywhere near where it should be, but I am working on it. At the suggestion of the therapist, Todd and I need to have a weekly date night so that we can get back to being a couple and not just two parallels. We started that this week and it was nice to be alone together and be able to talk about anything and everything. I also need to start speaking my mind more instead of worrying about how my feelings will affect others. That's a hard one for me. Obviously, I don't want to just be a bitch and tell everybody off when they upset me, but I do need to find a way to constructively get my feelings across. Most importantly though, I need to realize my feelings and the reason for those feelings. For now though, I am just taking things one day at a time.
