A Good Mother?

What makes a good mother? Is it having perfect children that listen 100% of the time? Is it never having to yell at your children? Is it just loving them? Seriously, what defines being good?

I thought that I was doing a descent job, but now I am not so sure. My girls are not perfect, but the behave so much better for daddy and grandma. The minute I walk in the room, it's like all hell breaks loose. Of course, daddy and grandma blame me for this. It must be my fault, right? Why else would the be fine until I walk in? I just dont understand. I do the same type of parenting that daddy does, but they listen to him, no me. Grandma has "the look" and "the tone" down pat from when she was rasing my husband, so of course they listen to her. What is it that I am doing wrong?

I have been in tears most of the day over this. I dont want to be the parent that has the unruley children. I dont want to be the parent that is always yelling at her children. I am afraid that this is what I am turning into though. There is no reasoning with a 2 year old and I really dont want to resort to bribing her. Of course, my almost 1 year old is so clingy that I cant even take 2 steps away from her without having her attach herself to my leg!. How on earth to I fix this situation that I apparently created somehow?